Dr. Léonard Goguen
3 min readJan 26, 2021

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How to feel the boomerang surprising effects of love?

Photo by Jordan Rowland on Unsplash

As a young child we experience love as something we are receiving when people around us make sure that our basic needs are met. At this time, we experience love as something we are getting.

For some egocentric adults, love seems to be something they are only getting. Self-centered, they expect the persons around them to show them what they call love and respect. For them love is more about receiving than giving.

You also know people for whom loving is about giving. These persons show a genuine interest in you. I visited a friend who was very sick in the hospital. He would give very short answers to questions about his well-being and he wanted to hear about how all his visitors were doing. Some people, like my friend, always seem able to show appreciation with their smile, their undivided attention and their caring attitude. In their presence we feel love.

We may choose our vision of love as getting, giving or sharing. Lovers who experience more joy and satisfaction in life focus on giving, sharing, compassion and kindness. Love is an interior vision that shines in the presence of others.

Couples with a long active love life can be models in nurturing fondness and admiration for their partner. Gottman, an internationally known marital counsellor, researcher and writer finds that the ability to see the qualities of the partner is a key factor in long standing loving relationships. These couples are good at sharing by taking turns as attentive listeners and expressive storytellers. High level of interest in each other maintains their magical bond. We can see Valentine’s Day as a day for couples to share their love. Flower shops help making it a big day for couples.

If we are living by ourself can we still celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Whether we are single or in a special relationship, Valentine’s Day can be a great day to express to others that we care. It is a special day and February can be a special month to express our gratitude to people around us. Also, it is a good time to inquire how friends and family members are doing. When a person shows interest in your well-being, it is very heart warming and energizing.

By giving love to others and express our gratitude, we experience not less but more love ❤️. Giving love is special, it has a surprising boomerang secret effect! ❤️❤️ You give love and you don’t lose anything. It gets back to you… you feel more love after giving than before. This is great! Let’s share our love!

Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash

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Dr. Léonard Goguen

Psychologist and Professor Emeritus in Education from Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada, Writing on Personal Growth, Resilience, Retirement, Travel and Happiness